Have you ever felt like you would like more out of life? Wouldn’t it be great if you could help people, really make a difference, and get rich doing it. You may be a prime candidate for Hoskin Law School!

Are you good at arguing? Are you strong enough to carry large books? Do your friends call you a loud mouth? You may have what it takes to be a great attorney.

To see if you really have what it takes, just complete the short questionnaire below and send it in with a $500.00 application fee. We’ll do the rest.


Question One: My golf handicap is ______.

Question Two: I would rather be paid (A) $8/hr. __, (B) $50/hr. __, (C) $495/hr. ___.

Question Three: I can hear an ambulance at ___ yards.

Question Four: I don’t mind working 26 hours each day. True or False

Question Five: I’m good at pissing people off. True or False

Question Six: I can think of at least __ definitions of the word “is”.

Question Seven: I’ve seen at least 5 episodes of Perry Mason. True or False

Legal Stuff:

Question One: A tort is: (A) a pastry __, (B) a civil wrong or injury resulting from a breach of one’s legal duty __, (C) a profanity in Spain

Question Two: Our legal system has two basic divisions: (A) criminal and civil __, (B) network and cable __, (C) slow and slower __.

Question Three: There are nine Supreme Court Justices sitting on the bench because: (A) they weren’t good enough to be starting players __, (B) there isn’t room for ten __, (C) nine was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite number __.

Question Four: The U.S. Consitution protects U.S. citizens right to: (A) color T.V. __, (B) cable T.V., (C) chunky peanut butter __, (D) a $5,000 credit line __, (E) healthcare __, (F) all the above.

Question Five: A pro bono case involves: (A) Sonny Bono’s younger brother __, (B) italian sausage food poisoning __, (C) soothing a guilty conscience __.

Question Six: Sixty-yards out from the green, I would use a _____ iron from the fairway.

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