RE: Notice of Land Use Restrictions - Parcel 23849284-39

Dear Prospective Homeowner:

It has come to our attention that you are presently planning the purchase of the above referenced lot/residence within our county.

Recent research has shown that the area in which you plan to purchase has been classified as a safe harbor habitat for a number of protected species. This area falls under the protection of The Native Species Protection Act of 1992, §42 USC 2345. You should be aware of any possible repercussions of purchasing a home in this area and consider consulting with legal counsel before you proceed.

First. A large number of Citellus beecheyi have been found living in the area. Any possible changes to the local environment, such as landscaping, new building, gardening, and other outdoor activities, which often accompany the undertaking of new domiciliary activities, could have an adverse impact upon this species and may violate the NSPA and other federal, state, and county regulations.

Second. The Cyanocitta cristata has been found nesting in the area and could similarly be negatively impacted by a change in property ownership and the activities typically associated therewith.

Should you proceed in your purchase of this home, we highly recommend you comply with the following rules to ensure the safety of the aforementioned species:

(1) Do not take any act or omission that may impact the natural habitat of the above-mentioned species;

(2) Only plant deciduous trees on the west side of the property;

(3) Only plant bushes and shrubberies of less than three feet in height within 16 inches of any non-domicilary structure on the property;

(4) Never wear plaid when on the property*;

(5) If you barbeque, limit your menu to vegetables and tofurkey;

(6) Always carry a 6 ounce bag of California walnuts for the Citellus beecheyi (ground squirrels) and a 4 ounce bag of sunflower seeds (unsalted) for the Cyanocitta cristata (bluejays);

(7) Remember to brush after every meal and floss every day; and

(8) Always put your pants on one leg at a time.

If you have any questions, please do not contact us. Trust me, you don’t want to talk to us.


Chief of Staff,
Land Use Authority

*I hate plaid.